tonight, today.. hasn’t been the best of days.

physically, mentally, emotionally.. unstable.

sometimes, like others, i wonder.. i doubt.. i shake.

do i try to appear strong? do i hide my emotions? do i just try to do the best / right?

im not exactly happy tonight. in fact, im quite upset. why?

seeing others happy, im glad & it makes it happy. what’s the matter today? what’s wrong with my damn body? mind? even my heart……? maybe the strongest is still the heart for my body and mind are aching badly.

been a while since i’d headache.. the last time was.. more than 2 weeks.

have a damn project to do. bo liao.

im screwed. i’ve lost interest in studies. it’s not good when holidays are over (real soon).

my boyfriend is sleeping now.

i’ve a question. really, do i mind our age difference? i know i dont. but, the real question, do i mind what others think?

i don’t care about those not close with me, but those who are have expressed ‘shock’ at his age.. however, they have assured me that they do not mind, but are just shocked, and they remain supportive of whatever decision i make.

as i write, i recall that with every drastic / turning point in life comes the peaks and the troughs – and a period of doubting.

whatever it is, time will tell.

it may be now that we dismiss the desire to know beforehand and allow faith to lead.

love is..

(sometimes, when i think of us at all, i wonder if it was all because of one night. if that hadn’t, now it might not. that same strange sense.)